Planning for retirement can be a complex process, even for people with relatively simple circumstances. And let’s be honest—most people don’t have uncomplicated situations. Having a long-term partner, for example, adds complexity. If you’ve experienced a breakup and found a new partner, that brings even more layers. Add children into the mix, and things become even more intricate!
While those scenarios are challenging but common, it becomes even trickier when there’s a significant age gap between partners. These situations are less frequent, and often overlooked in retirement planning discussions.
I’ve worked with many couples where the age difference led to friction. In most of those cases, the trouble stemmed from a lack of early discussions about their personal and financial goals. It’s not just the financial aspect—both partners need to be clear about what they want out of life. One partner may be winding down their career and looking forward to the freedom that retirement brings, while the other is still deep in the throes of their career. This can lead to feelings of impatience, loneliness, or even a sense of lost opportunity if one partner feels they are sacrificing their dreams for the other. Acknowledging these emotions can make a significant difference and make figuring out the practicalities of your age difference much easier to navigate.
Key considerations for retirement planning when partners are of different ages
For couples early in a relationship who hope for long-term success, there are three key factors to consider: lifestyle, financial plans, and estate planning.
1. Lifestyle
When couples from different generations come together, they typically have shared interests that bring them closer. But are those enough to maintain a relationship over time? Do their different life stages mean their goals might eventually clash?
Having an age difference means that you might not always be on the same page, but you should at least understand the other person’s perspective. For instance, a 60-year-old might be eager to explore the country on a long caravan trip, while their 45-year-old partner is still busy with their career. These aren’t financial issues—they’re more about how each partner views life and what they want, which is equally important to address.
It's also worth considering the impact of health and energy levels. As people age, their physical capabilities naturally change. Will both partners be in a similar place physically when it comes to activities like travel, hobbies, and social engagement? What happens if one partner experiences health challenges earlier than expected? These are difficult, but necessary, conversations to have.
2. Financial planning for couples with age differences
When discussing finances, the focus doesn’t have to be on the age gap itself—it’s about how each person sees and handles money. What’s your attitude toward money? Is it simply a tool, or does it carry deeper meaning? Are you a spender while your partner prefers saving? Will you combine your finances or keep them separate?
There aren’t necessarily right or wrong answers to these questions, but they do need to be discussed. Once you’ve both clarified your views, you can develop financial strategies that work for your future together. For example, when one partner reaches the Centrelink age pension eligibility age (67), both of their income and assets are assessed for eligibility. If the younger partner is under 67, any money in their superannuation isn’t counted in that assessment. These are the kinds of nuances that make retirement planning more complicated for couples with a significant age difference. There may be some opportunities in this scenario to maximise the age pension entitlements.
It’s a smart move to consult a financial adviser early in the relationship to ensure you’ve considered all potential scenarios. In addition, it’s wise to regularly update your financial plans as circumstances change—whether that’s a shift in income, health status, or unexpected life events.
3. Estate planning
Estate planning is a critical aspect of preparing for retirement, particularly for couples with an age difference. As one partner may pass away earlier, it's essential to have a clear plan for how assets will be distributed. This is especially important if there are children from previous relationships, as it can prevent disputes and ensure that all parties are provided for. Having legal and valid will for each offers certainly for both partners, safeguarding the financial well-being of the surviving partner. Without these safeguards, the younger partner may face financial insecurity or legal challenges. Further to this, it’s important to ensure there are Power of Attorney documents set up for each. Estate planning brings peace of mind, knowing that both partners and their loved ones are protected as they approach and live in retirement. Part of your estate planning will be ensuring superannuation beneficiaries are set up, housing arrangements if there is a blended family and the home is to eventually form part of one spouse children’s inheritance but not the other spouse children.
So what do you do?
Both partners in a relationship, especially with an age gap, come into it as established individuals—no one is starting with a blank slate. Having open, early discussions to identify any major points of conflict can be incredibly helpful. And frankly, this is great advice for all couples, regardless of any age difference. I believe it all comes down to expectation alignment, from both people. Have the conversation and have it now.
Glen James is a former financial adviser and the creator and host of the Retire Right and money money money podcasts.