Register For Our Mailing List

Register to receive our free weekly newsletter including editorials.

Home / 583

The gentle art of death cleaning

Most of us are really squeamish about the word ‘death’ – we run a mile from it. Similarly with the term ‘funeral’ – it’s difficult to bring ourselves to read articles about planning for our own demise. We’re more interested in living, than dying, right?

But there is a compelling reason why we do need to think ahead and plan.

And that’s because most of us would walk over burning coals for our loved ones – so leaving them with a mess is not how we want them to remember us.

That may be a reason for the increasing popularity of TV shows such as The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. While this program concentrates more on the emotional and clutter clearing aspect of leaving things in good order, it does prime your mind about your legacy, be it material, financial or spiritual.

First things first

The main message is ‘Don’t leave a mess’, whatever shape this might take. There are three main types of mess and they fit into the parameters mentioned above:

  • Material – meaning your home, your possessions, your ‘stuff’
  • Financial – your savings, your super, your property and any other investments, debts or obligations.
  • Spiritual – your emotional legacy, the status of your relationships, your family ties and responsibilities, perhaps your faith.

Let’s tackle them in order of importance, starting with the spiritual.

How you will be remembered

Money matters a lot, but how we behave and how we are remembered is the true definition of our time on earth. If we are lucky, we have loving friends and family and good ties to our community, be it local, global or both. But most of us will also have some unresolved matters and some fractured relationships. That’s life. But we don’t have to think that things can never be fixed, or at least acknowledged. Far too often we attend a funeral and learn things about someone who we thought we knew well. Sometimes we carry regrets about things we didn’t say or do. Sometimes families experience deep rifts which cause hurt and sadness for decades. It’s a truism, but the only person who can address your issues is you. It’s very sad if we miss opportunities to be honest and to set things right.

There’s no need for a legal or financial mess

Apart from creating a future legal or administrative nuisance, leaving unsorted financials is extremely unfair to your nearest and dearest. Many people still do not have a will. There is actually no excuse for this as there are inexpensive options for those with simple affairs and those with more complex situations will need some form of legal input regardless. It all comes back to a clear definition of your assets and your intentions. This applies to:

  • your home and any other property
  • your superannuation
  • your savings and investments
  • any business relationships
  • your Power of Attorney and
  • your advance health directives

There is a lot to understand and to think about here. In Noel Whittaker’s excellent book, Wills, death and taxes made simple, he explains all these factors clearly. There are few shortcuts here – you really do need to think about who your beneficiaries will be and how your assets will be divided. In particular, having a Binding Death benefit Nomination for your super means there will be no confusion about how this will be handled by a trustee. And understanding Centrelink rules when someone dies means that you can ensure you have done all you can to smooth the way for a spouse. For couples, having a separate bank account is a helpful way to ensure you retain access to funds for daily living expenses without interruption.

Your home and possessions

This is the tricky part. One man’s (or woman’s) treasure is often another’s trash. We can become highly emotional when it comes to our possessions. Ask any downsizer. The common experience is that they cannot believe how much unwanted stuff they were able to gift, sell or discard when they had to make hard decisions when moving to a new residence. If you are a hoarder, the question to ask yourself is whether you really want your loved ones to reel back in horror when they need to handle the sale of your home or the sorting of possessions in a rental situation. Some people are psychologically unable to throw anything out – true hoarding is a recognised mental illness. Such people may need some medical support. But this is relatively rare – about 2.6% of the population. The rest of us can just be lazy or complacent and simply watch the slow build-up of unneeded possessions for years, as there is no compelling reason to shift this stuff. If you are in this group, then taking action while you are still fit and able makes a lot of sense. How many Tupperware containers without lids can any house need? So why not inspire yourself by watching The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning on SBS on Demand, reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo or by asking a friend to help. Your local op-shop will love you, but your family will love you more. And somewhat perversely, you’ll feel kilos lighter even though it’s not body weight that you’ve shed.

And one more thing …

It’s time to talk about your online presence, or ‘digital assets’ as they are sometimes called. There is nothing worse than having a haunting presence on Facebook or Instagram long after you’ve gone. It’s actually quite stressful for those who love you if you pop up unexpectedly in their socials. You can handle this in a couple of different ways. You can appoint a ‘digital executor’, entrust them with your login and password details, and ask them to close or delete all relevant accounts. Or you can share a list of all these details with family and friends and again, leave instructions so that someone manages matters according to your wishes. Some families will choose to keep you ‘alive’ online – it’s entirely personal.

There, now, we’ve done it! We’ve had a straightforward discussion about your death and some of the things you can choose to do now to ensure those you care about will have the easiest possible journey at the time of your passing.

Are you actively putting things in place for your nearest and dearest?

Or is it something you are ‘getting around to’ at some stage?

Helpful resources

Noel Whittaker has created an Executor’s and Attorney’s Cheat Sheet which is a comprehensive downloadable PDF allowing you to share all necessary information with those who matter to you. It’s free and a brilliant way of summarising your assets, wishes and other important details.

Centrelink also provides support and services when someone dies.

 

Kaye Fallick is Founder of STAYINGconnected website and SuperConnected enews. She has been a commentator on retirement income and ageing demographics since 1999. This article is general information and does not consider the circumstances of any person.

This article was originally published by Retirement Essentials and is reproduced with permission.

 

7 Comments
Maggie
October 28, 2024

Thanks Kaye
Also important to leave explanations for the computer illiterate family executor/s about where to locate eg share purchase/sale records for digital only records. And passwords for tge computer, phone too.

Pete K
October 27, 2024

Something you've overlooked Kaye (love your insightful articles BTW) that Steve touches on above, is emotional baggage. i e. attachment to stuff passed down to one's children. By that I mean something like: " All this stuff meant a great deal to me, so it has to to you to. You have to treasure it as much as I did" This creates a huge emotional drain on surviving children. If you loved it fine. Just don't demand that your surviving lived ones do too.

Deb Solomon
October 27, 2024

I’ll be eternally grateful that my husband found a home for his once valuable collection of phone cards.
Moving house after thirty years was certainly a ‘mini death cleaning’ and we both parted with items that one day would become burdensome to one or the other of us or the next generation.
There may be a few regrets that come with downsizing your belongings to fit in a downsized residence, but overall it is very positive.

John
October 25, 2024

In regard to hoarding
I have a solution. - don’t buy all the junk in the first place. - most of it is from China anyway and messes with the environment etc

Patrick Kissane
October 25, 2024

If a person leaves a stamp collection, it is the normal practice for the Public Trustee to give the collection temporarily to a stamp dealer for valuation.

Steve
October 24, 2024

My father was an avid stamp and coin collector for over forty years. Then, one day he announced that he had taken the liberty of selling his collection to authorised dealers. He realised that his passion was not shared by his children so he did the very noble thing of absolving the children from having to make hard decisions about what to do with the collection after his passing. As he knew the key players (authorised dealers) in the industry, it was a no-brainer for him. Thank you Dad.

Kaye
October 24, 2024

Thanks for sharing Steve - that was a kindness - I'm sure it would have been really difficult to make those decisions otherwise. warmest Kaye

 

Leave a Comment:

RELATED ARTICLES

Thou shalt not covet … thy neighbour’s house

Estate planning made simple, Part II

Watch out, it's not easy being the executor of an estate

banner

Most viewed in recent weeks

16 ASX stocks to buy and hold forever, updated

This time last year, I highlighted 16 ASX stocks that investors could own indefinitely. One year on, I look at whether there should be any changes to the list of stocks as well as which companies are worth buying now. 

UniSuper’s boss flags a potential correction ahead

The CIO of Australia’s fourth largest super fund by assets, John Pearce, suggests the odds favour a flat year for markets, with the possibility of a correction of 10% or more. However, he’ll use any dip as a buying opportunity.

2025-26 super thresholds – key changes and implications

The ABS recently released figures which are used to determine key superannuation rates and thresholds that will apply from 1 July 2025. This outlines the rates and thresholds that are changing and those that aren’t.  

Is Gen X ready for retirement?

With the arrival of the new year, the first members of ‘Generation X’ turned 60, marking the start of the MTV generation’s collective journey towards retirement. Are Gen Xers and our retirement system ready for the transition?

Why the $5.4 trillion wealth transfer is a generational tragedy

The intergenerational wealth transfer, largely driven by a housing boom, exacerbates economic inequality, stifles productivity, and impedes social mobility. Solutions lie in addressing the housing problem, not taxing wealth.

What Warren Buffett isn’t saying speaks volumes

Warren Buffett's annual shareholder letter has been fixture for avid investors for decades. In his latest letter, Buffett is reticent on many key topics, but his actions rather than words are sending clear signals to investors.

Latest Updates

Investing

Designing a life, with money to spare

Are you living your life by default or by design? It strikes me that many people are doing the former and living according to others’ expectations of them, leading to poor choices including with their finances.

Investment strategies

A closer look at defensive assets for turbulent times

After the recent market slump, it's a good time to brush up on the defensive asset classes – what they are, why hold them, and how they can both deliver on your goals and increase the reliability of your desired outcomes.

Financial planning

Are lifetime income streams the answer or just the easy way out?

Lately, there's been a push by Government for lifetime income streams as a solution to retirement income challenges. We run the numbers on these products to see whether they deliver on what they promise.

Shares

Is it time to buy the Big Four banks?

The stellar run of the major ASX banks last year left many investors scratching their heads. After a recent share price pullback, has value emerged in these banks, or is it best to steer clear of them?

Investment strategies

The useful role that subordinated debt can play in your portfolio

If you’re struggling to replace the hybrid exposure in your portfolio, you’re not alone. Subordinated debt is an option, and here is a guide on what it is and how it can fit into your investment mix.

Shares

Europe is back and small caps there offer significant opportunities

Trump’s moves on tariffs, defence, and Ukraine, have awoken European Governments after a decade of lethargy. European small cap manager, Alantra Asset Management, says it could herald a new era for the continent.

Shares

Lessons from the rise and fall of founder-led companies

Founder-led companies often attract investors due to leaders' personal stakes and long-term vision. But founder presence alone does not guarantee success, and the challenge is to identify which ones will succeed in the long term.

Sponsors

Alliances

© 2025 Morningstar, Inc. All rights reserved.

Disclaimer
The data, research and opinions provided here are for information purposes; are not an offer to buy or sell a security; and are not warranted to be correct, complete or accurate. Morningstar, its affiliates, and third-party content providers are not responsible for any investment decisions, damages or losses resulting from, or related to, the data and analyses or their use. To the extent any content is general advice, it has been prepared for clients of Morningstar Australasia Pty Ltd (ABN: 95 090 665 544, AFSL: 240892), without reference to your financial objectives, situation or needs. For more information refer to our Financial Services Guide. You should consider the advice in light of these matters and if applicable, the relevant Product Disclosure Statement before making any decision to invest. Past performance does not necessarily indicate a financial product’s future performance. To obtain advice tailored to your situation, contact a professional financial adviser. Articles are current as at date of publication.
This website contains information and opinions provided by third parties. Inclusion of this information does not necessarily represent Morningstar’s positions, strategies or opinions and should not be considered an endorsement by Morningstar.