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The secret to a good retirement

What makes a good retirement? I’ve been researching the lives of 'silver backpackers': Japanese seniors who embark on a later-life journey of self-discovery.

Many experienced Japan’s high-growth economy, characterised by rigid gender roles. For many men who worked as iconic cultural figures of sarariiman (white collar workers), excessive working hours were normalised and expected. Their absence from home was compensated by their female partners, many full-time stay-at-home mothers.

Entering their 60s meant either retirement from work, or children leaving home. For men and women, retirement is understood as an opportunity to live a life for themselves, leading to a journey of self-discovery.

Dedicating life to work

I interviewed more than 100 older Japanese women and men and found a significant disparity in the quality of life between them.

Japanese retired men who led a work-oriented life struggled to find meaning at the initial stages of retirement.

One man I spoke to retired at the age of 60 from a large trading company. He was a successful businessman, having travelled the world and held various managerial positions in the company. His wife looked after the children most of the time.

They bought a house with a yard in a suburb so the children could attend a good school. It significantly increased his commute, and further reduced his time with children. He also worked on weekends. He barely had time to develop his hobbies or get to know his neighbours.

He idealised his retirement as a time to finally spend with his family and develop his own hobbies. When he retired, however, he realised that he and his family didn’t have any common topics of conversation.

Through decades of excessive hours spent at work away from home, the rest of the family established a routine that did not include him. Taking up new hobbies at the age of 60 was not as easy as he thought, nor was making new friends at this age.

“I became a nureochiba,” he lamented. Nureochiba refers to the wet fallen leaves that linger and are difficult to get rid of. The term is commonly used to describe retired men with no friends or hobbies who constantly accompany their wives.

The retirement for many former sarariiman was characterised by boredom – having nowhere to go to or having nothing to do. The sense of boredom led to a sense of isolation and low confidence in old age. Many older Japanese men I spoke to lament not having built a connection with their children or communities at a younger age.

Dedicating life to family and community

Older Japanese women I spoke with were more well-connected with their children and local communities in later life. Many were in regular contact with their children through visits, phone calls and messages. Some continued to care for them by providing food or by looking after grandchildren. Children very much appreciated them.

Many older women who had been full-time stay-at-home mothers had already taken up hobbies or volunteering activities at community organisations, and they could accelerate these involvements in their old age.

Even women who worked full-time seemed to maintain better connections with their family members because working excessively away from home was simply not possible for them.

Older men relied on these women’s networks and activities conducted at the scales of home and communities – from caring for others to pursuing hobbies – to enact a meaningful retirement. The sense of connection with family and communities, not to mention their husbands’ reliance on them, led to a high confidence and wellbeing among older women.

I saw many instances where older women preferred spending time with their female friends than their retired husbands and embarked on adventurous trips alone. One woman went on a three-month cruise alone. Feeling liberated, she sent a fax message to her husband from the ship: “When I get off this ship, I will devote the rest of my life to myself. You will have to take care of your own mother.”

Upon disembarking, she moved to Malaysia to start her second life.

The silver backpackers

Malaysia has become a popular destination for silver backpackers looking to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Some travel as couples, while others go alone, regardless of their marital status.

For many male silver backpackers I spoke to, moving to Malaysia offers a second chance at life to make new friends, find hobbies and, most importantly, start anew with their partners.

For many female silver backpackers, visiting Malaysia means being able to enjoy an independent lifestyle while having the security of friends and family in Malaysia and Japan.

The experiences of older Japanese men and women can be translated into the experiences of anyone who spent excessive hours at work and those who spent more time cultivating relationships outside of work. The activities of the latter group are not as valued in a society that narrowly defines productivity. However, my research shows that it is their activities that carry more value in old age.

Are you under pressure to work long hours? If you can, turn off your phone and computer. Instead of organising events for work, organise a dinner with your family and friends. Take up a new hobby in your local community centres. You can change how you work and live now for a better old age.

 

Shiori Shakuto, Lecturer in Anthropology, University of Sydney

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

 

11 Comments
Mike
December 20, 2024

Retirement is such a big change in your life you must be aware of what it is going to be like.
I was fortunate to transition to retirement over 3 years going from 5 days to 4,3 and eventually 2 days a week from a stressful finance job. Those extra days off enabled me to join a gym for the first time ( still going after 9 years) , doing volunteer work in tourism and food charity, connecting with fellow retirees and becoming a small part of my wife’s routine. A chart a Doctor showed me ,from a life insurance company, illustrated the death rate spike in men soon after retirement. Quite sobering. Develop a purpose to get out of bed each day when retired to replace your career. If not, you could become another life insurance statistic. Remember ABC.
Act, Belong,Commit.

David Williams
December 20, 2024

Thanks for the article. it’s best to reflect on and plan our longevity (not just our retirement) and what we can do to make the most of it. At age 67 close to half the population is likely to live beyond age 90, much of it living independently. Longevity planning focuses us on the personal differences that could improve our opportunities and address our challenges, supported by a growth mindset to decide what we (and life partners) will choose to do. This frames our important health, financial and estate planning decisions and enables a prompt response if things change. Work related decisions (like ‘retirement’) become one element of longevity planning.

Jeff O
December 20, 2024

From hero to zero...does not just apply from work to retirement & old age....nor hopefully, anything to do with gender over a life time.

From a silverback.....Caring for someone & your self is rewarding "work" ....staying connected with family, friends, the community also creates opportunity..........but exchanging/interacting/doing/giving creates "value"......all these activities can underpin your wellbeing...hopefully, you are free to make the best choices for yourself, et al

And finally, even "doing nothing"...resting, recovering, reflecting, thinking, ....since "something" often comes from "nothing"......And keep watch for stress.....and do something about that!

Victor
December 19, 2024

Interesting story. I'd be interested in understanding the overall retirement outcomes of senior executives given the high divorce rates and and associated blended families. Grass rarely greener when your make it more complex ....

TonyD
December 19, 2024

On a visit to Japan I was struck by the number of older men - and women - in work in diverse occupations. Whether for economic reasons or by choice, they obviously enjoyed and took pride in their job - skilled or unskilled. From the elderly lady serving you at a cafe counter or the older gent manning the entrance gate to a construction site.

Keeping your hand a few days a month in less demanding work may for some be the way to go. You could find greater meaning and purpose in retirement. It's not all about spending and lifestyle.

Rick
December 19, 2024

That settles it...when I grow old I "don't" want to become a Nureochiba.

Cam
December 19, 2024

There's a lot of focus on gender gaps, but they're largely economic. I expect a survey would find this article is obvious to females at a younger age than males, and part of the economic gender gap is females working out earlier that other things are important.
I think the end success for society is a combination of economic outcomes as well as family and social outcomes, and we'll end up with no, or small, gender gaps in all these areas.
No doubt there will always be some who choose a high flying career with less family and social time, and others who choose the opposite, and that's fine if its what people freely want to do.

CC
December 19, 2024

The biggest reason for the gender gap is that women can have children but men cannot.
That won't change any time soon, like it or not.

Eve
December 19, 2024

Seriously? Women may deliver the baby (which seldom takes more than one day in your life) but both men and women can look after children for the next twenty plus years.

Bryan Waters
December 19, 2024

A great article reflecting not only the experience of white collar Japanese men, but not uncommon to many Australian men who did not commence a “transition to retirement” while still working. This enables them to start to focus on what retirement is well before entering that phase of their lives.

Peter
December 19, 2024

Spot I went down to 3 days a week for 12 months to ease into it.helped also my wife had already retired.

 

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